Services
“Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua.”
-@bargopicus, probably
(idk what this says, I don’t speak bargopanese)
I Am Not Professional
But I do offer a number of fun and amazing services, which you can find below!
[Insert Service Name Here]
Yes, you’ve heard it here first folks, I’ll draw you all the bad foot pics of your desires. Just take a look at some of my previous work and see for yourself! I’m such a professional (note: not actually a professional)
Service Two
Do you suffer from [INSERT PROBLEMATIC ISSUE HERE]?
We’ll then you’re in luck! I can’t solve your problems but if you send me an extended email in which you detail all your life’s traumas and sufferings, I will respond with a mediocrely helpful email, the length of which is mandatory by my higher ups at Hexisphere Industries
Foot Pics (non drawn)
Now, I don’t officially sell foot pics, but I am very easily bribed so my mind can be changed.
Identity Theft
I will commit identify theft on your behalf for the low low payment of $4300 USD.
(note: I will only be claiming your own identity and I will not actually commit crimes on your behalf. These ToS are non negotiable. For full details please email me with your inquiries.)
Underground Braces Application (50% off!)
Are you suffering from the mortal binds of your poor dental genetics, but can’t afford a $13,000 piece of metal to be drilled into your bones that will rearrange them over time? Never fear, for less than $6500 I will manually do it for you in my basement with a set of pliers and duct tape. (payments are non-refundable and Hexisphere Industries takes no responsibility in regards to future dental issues following the procedure)
Book a Consultation
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